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Found 2 results

  1. "And we never had a whole Mars bar until 1993"!!! CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL MY FRIENDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE 1930s,40's, 50's, and 60's First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank Sherry while they carried us and lived in houses made of asbestos... They took aspirin, ate blue cheese, bread and dripping, raw egg products, loads of bacon and processed meat, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes or cervical cancer. Then after that trauma, our baby cots were covered with bright coloured lead-based paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets or shoes, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.. As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle. Take away food was limited to fish and chips, no pizza shops, McDonalds , KFC, Subway or Nandos. Even though all the shops closed at 6.00pm and didn't open on a Sunday, somehow we didn't starve to death! We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this. We could collect old drink bottles and cash them in at the corner store and buy Toffees, Gobstoppers and Bubble Gum. We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter, milk from the cow, and drank soft drinks with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because...... WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!! We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O..K. We would spend hours building our go-carts out of old prams and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. We built tree houses and dens and played in river beds with matchbox cars. We did not have Playstations, Nintendo Wii , X-boxes, no video games at all, no 999 channels on SKY , no video/dvd films, or colour TV no mobile phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms..........WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them! We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no Lawsuits from these accidents. Only girls had pierced ears! We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever. You could only buy Easter Eggs and Hot Cross Buns at Easter time.... We were given air guns and catapults for our 10th birthdays, We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them! Mum didn't have to go to work to help dad make ends meet because we didn't need to keep up with the Jones's! Not everyone made the rugby/football/cricket/netball team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!! Getting into the team was based on MERIT Our teachers used to hit us with canes and gym shoes and throw the blackboard rubber at us if they thought we weren't concentrating ...... We can string sentences together and spell and have proper conversations because of a good, solid three R's education. Our parents would tell us to ask a stranger to help us cross the road. The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law! Our parents didn't invent stupid names for their kids like 'Kiora' and 'Blade' and 'Ridge' and 'Vanilla' We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL ! And YOU are one of them! CONGRATULATIONS! You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives for our own good. PS -The big type is because your eyes are not too good at your age anymore
  2. After Quasimodo's death, the Bishop of the Cathedral of Notre Dame in Paris, France sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bell ringer was urgently needed. The Bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills over a long period, he decided to call it a day and to continue the interviewing process the following day. Just then, an armless Frenchman approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bell ringer's job. The Bishop was incredulous. But, you have no arms, Monsieur !' 'No matter,' said the man. 'Observe me, Excellency !' And, pushing his way past the Bishop, he began striking the bells with his ugly face, producing a most beautiful melody on the carillon. The Bishop listened in astonishment convinced he had found a sensational replacement for Quasimodo. But, suddenly, as he rushed forward to strike the bells again in encore, the armless Frenchman tripped over a mallet and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street far below. The stunned Bishop rushed down two hundred and ninety five church steps to reach the street. A crowd had by now gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moments before. As they silently parted to let the Bishop through, one of them asked, 'Bishop sir, who was this man ?' 'I don't know his name,' the Bishop sadly replied........ ( scroll down .........) .................. BUT HIS FACE RINGS A BELL !' WAIT ! WAIT ! There's more.... The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on his heart due to the unfortunate death of the armless campanologist, the Bishop continued his interviews for the bell ringer of Notre Dame. The first man to approach him said, 'Your Excellency, I am the brother of the poor armless wretch who fell to his death from this very belfry yesterday. I pray that you honour his life by allowing me to replace him in this duty.' The Bishop agreed to give the man an audition, but, as the armless man's brother stooped to pick up a heavy mallet to strike the first bell, he groaned, clutched at his chest, twirled around, and died of heart failure on the spot. Two monks, hearing the Bishop's cries of anguish at this second shocking tragedy, rushed up the stairs to his side. 'What has happened ? Who is this man?' the first monk asked, breathlessly. 'I don't know his name,' sighed the now distraught Bishop, 'but...' 'HE'S A DEAD RINGER FOR HIS BROTHER. "
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