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We are now just over the QLD border from the NT on our slow way home, and camping on the Camooweal Billabong. We chose the bottom billabong, as it’s less crowded. At a guess it’s 3 kms from the main highway to the bottom pool What a great spot. Lots of bird life, including egrets, whistling kites, a black swan, etc. This is a popular spot and by late afternoon all spots near us are taken. But no one is too close. The road in is a bit chopped up (they had recent rains, now dried out) but nothing we couldn’t handle with ease. I imagine it could get a bit dusty here but after the recent rains it is nice and fresh, In town is a good water point and dump point, so if approaching from the East, fill up before going out to the waterholes. And a bonus, last night we met up with other Kedronites who are on the forum, Liz and Gary Woods. It was great to chat!

Please join us for a relaxing weekend at Robertson Showground (140Ks Sth of Sydney,47 Ks SW of Wollongong) in the Southern Highlands All Kedron Caravan Owners welcome. Arrive Friday leave Monday, 3 Nights. Showers Toilets Camp Kitchen and hall available for our use. Dogs OK $20 Per van per night Power and Water. Lots to see and do in the area. Friday evening happy hour we will have a trivia quiz with some great prizes (thanks to Glen Gall) Saturday night for those interested we will have dinner at the Bowling Club. 2315 Kangaloon Road Robertson NSW (Enter from High Street) Please let me know if you are coming.

After years of traveling with our Kedron all over Australia, I didn't realise how much you get used to the luxury of a van. Recently we had to make a hurried trip to Queensland. I flew and Paul drove as we knew we would need the car for anything up to six weeks. Having only the day before returned from Europe we had no time to get the van prepared before we urgently had to be in Queensland. On our return trip, I knew I was going to have to go 'camping'. Didn't really realise what this would entail until we got on the road. School holidays and the PGA tour in Kalgoorlie meant that we couldn't get accommodation at some places. We drove past most free camps with our tent in the car, and only used Baxters Rest stop because it had a toilet. I kept looking out the window going we could stop there or there or there. Staying in Broken Hill during 30 hours of rain was not fun, and at 11pm we had to move to a Motel because we were ringing wet. The Kedron doesn't leak I thought. My sister and children are sure that Paul took me camping so I would appreciate the van more. We managed to get three days at Elliston S.A. Only drizzled there, but by now we had learnt a few things on how to cope without 'Q' (our Kedron). Our last night on the road was in Kalgoorlie. Our site was concrete - all concrete so pitching the tent was interesting. Besser bricks may have come into play to hold the tent in place. This time we were smarter, and got an en suite in case it rained, we would have somewhere to run to if this happened. When we got home to Perth I went out and gave the Kedron a cuddle. Hopefully in the future we will be able to get out for some short trips. My dad is coming over for a few months soon, and Paul thinks that at 87 he can go with us and stay in the tent. Stop laughing I haven't found a way to break it to him that dad would probably get our bed and we will be back out in the tent. We will see, we will see.

1x 250grpack of Salada Biscuits 200grms Butter 185grm (1 cup) soft brown sugar 1 tsp vanilla essence Generous pinch of salt 200gr dark chocolate chopped Turn oven to 180 degrees. Line a baking tray (approx 300x250cm) with foil then baking paper. Lay out Saladas in a single layer to fit the tray. The Caramel - melt the butter and sugar together in a saucepan over medium heat, stirring occasionally for about five minutes until it is thick and "gloopy". Stir in vanilla and salt. Take the caramel off the heat and quickly our it over the Saladas. Smooth with spatula. Put tray in oven for 15 minutes until the caramel has darkened. Remove from oven and cool for a few minutes, then sprinkle the chopped chocolate over the toffee. As the chocolate melts spread it evenly over the base. (Some cut up pistachios sprinkled on top can be a festive addition). Allow your "Crack" to cool then snap into pieces - any odd shape will do and store in an airtight container in the frig. ENJOY!! Sorry, there is no photo, I made this recipe for the Christmas gathering at Ruberns Lagoon last week and it disappeared before I had a chance to take a photo.

A young Scottish lad and lass were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, gazing out over the loch. For several minutes they sat silently. Then finally the girl looked at the boy and said “A penny for your thoughts, Angus?” “Well, uh, I was thinkin’… perhaps it’s aboot time for a wee kiss?” The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek. Then he blushed. The two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. Minutes passed and the girl spoke again. “Another penny for your thoughts, Angus?” “Well, uh, I was thinkin’ perhaps it’s noo time aboot time for a wee cuddle?” The girl blushed, then leaned over and cuddled him for a few seconds. Then he blushed. And the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. After a while, she again said “Another penny for your thoughts, Angus?” “Well, uh, I was thinkin’ perhaps it’s aboot time you let me put my hand on your leg”. The girl blushed, then took his hand and put it on her knee. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch before the girl spoke again. “Another penny for your thoughts, Angus?” The young man glanced down with a furrowed brow. “Well, noo” he said “my thoughts are a wee bit more serious this time”. “Really?” said the lass in a whisper, filled with anticipation. “Aye” said the lad, nodding. The girl looked away in shyness, began to blush, and bit her lip in anticipation of the ultimate request. Then he said “Dae ye nae think it’s aboot time ye paid me the first three pennies?”

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk. He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels." The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night. One o’clock came, however, and he didn't return. Two o’clock and no hired hand. Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him. She quietly called him over to her. "Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said. Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots." He did as she asked, ever so slowly. "Now take off my socks" He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots. "Now take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the firelight. "Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor. Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you’re fired." (P.S. - Yeah, I didn't see it coming, either)

My Mother taught me to read when I was 3 years old (her first mistake). One day I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet doors was slightly open. I read the box in the cabinet. I then asked my mother why she was keeping napkins in the bathroom. Didn't they belong in the kitchen? Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts she told me that those were for special occasions. Now fast forward a few months. It's Thanksgiving Day and my folks are leaving to pick up the pastor and his wife for Thanksgiving Dinner. Mom had assignments for all of us while they were gone. Mine was to set the table. You guessed it! When they returned, the pastor came in first and immediately burst into laughter. Next came his wife who gasped, then began giggling. Next came my father, who roared with laughter. Then came mom, who almost died of emarassment when she saw each place setting on the table with a "special occasion" napkin at each plate, with the fork carefully arranged on top. I had even tucked the little tails in so they didn't hang off the edge. My mother asked me why I used these and of course my response sent the other adults into further fits of laughter. "But Mom, you SAID they were for special occasions!!"

Good Morning folks, it’s Friday Funny time again. Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe, as it happens, near Transylvania. They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late at night and raining very hard with thunder and lightning. Bob could barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly, the car skids out of control! Bob attempts to control the car but to no avail! The car swerves and smashes into a tree. Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog. Dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees his wife unconscious, with her head bleeding. Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows he has to get her medical assistance. Bob carefully picks his wife up and begins trudging down the road. After a short while, he sees a light. He heads towards it, which is coming from a large, old house. He hastily knocks on the door. A minute passes and a small, hunched-back old man opens the door. Bob immediately blurts, "Hello, my name is Bob Hill, and this is my wife Betty. We've been in a terrible car accident, and my wife has been seriously hurt. Can I please use your phone?" "I'm sorry," replied the hunchback, "We don't have a phone. But my master is a doctor, come in, and I will get him!" Bob brings his wife in. An older man comes down the stairs. "I'm afraid my assistant may have misled you. I am not a medical doctor; I am a scientist. However, it is many miles to the nearest clinic, and I have had basic medical training. I will see what I can do. Igor, bring them down to the laboratory." With that, Igor picks up Betty and carries her downstairs, with Bob following closely. Igor places Betty on a table in the lab. Bob collapses from exhaustion and his own injuries, so Igor places Bob on an adjoining table. After a brief examination, Igor's master looks worried. "Things are serious, Igor. Prepare a transfusion." Igor and his master work feverishly, but to no avail, and Bob and Betty Hill both died. The Hills' deaths upset Igor's master greatly. Wearily, he climbs the steps to his conservatory which houses his grand piano. For it is here that he has always found solace. He begins to play, and a stirring, haunting melody fills the house. Meanwhile, Igor is still in the lab tidying up. His eyes catch a movement, and he notices the fingers on Betty's hand twitch, keeping time to the haunting piano music. Stunned, he watches as Bob's arm begins to rise, also marking the beat! He is further amazed as Betty and Bob both sit up straight! Unable to contain himself, he dashes up the stairs to the Conservatory. He bursts in and shouts to his Master, "Master, Master... The Hills are Alive with the Sound of Music…!"

Through the ages, men have been trying to unlock this mystery: Why do their wives, who accept them just as they are before they get married, begin the quest to change their behaviour and life-style once their vows are exchanged? Finally, the riddle is solved. A social-scientist has arrived at this simple and logical explanation. When the bride, accompanied by her father, starts to walk slowly down the long aisle, she sees the altar at the end and hears the choir singing a hymn. Walking down the aisle, the conditioning process starts where the brain absorbs these three stimuli: Aisle, altar, and hymn. She becomes mesmerized as she continually reinforces these perceptions: Aisle, altar, hymn……Aisle, altar, hymn……Aisle, altar, hymn. And finally, as she stops beside the groom, the conditioning process is complete. She looks up at him smiling sweetly and keeps saying to herself: 'I'll alter him!’ HERE ENDETH THE LESSON

Romantic Australians! You can't get more romantic than this! Aussie stockman and his wife had just got married and found a quiet hotel for their wedding night. The man approached the front desk and asked for a room. He said, 'We're on our honeymoon and we need a nice room, with a good strong bed." The clerk winked, ‘Do you want the 'Bridal'?' The drover reflected on this for a moment and then replied, "Nah, I reckon not. I'll just hold onto her ears until she gets used to it."

Seamus starts his new job at the Dublin zoo and is given three tasks. First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who is boss, he beats it to death with a spade. Realizing his employer won't be best pleased he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything. Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house, he is attacked by the chimps that pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two chimps with a spade killing them both. What can he do? Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything... He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure. He moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South American Bees. As soon as he starts he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and shovels them into the lions cage because lions eat anything. Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo.. He wanders up to another lion and says "What's the food like here?" The lions say: "Absolutely brilliant, today we had .... Fish and Chimps with Mushy Bees!!..

Hi all, We had a new 23'6 JB Dirt Road Extreme but sold it last year and decided to buy a 2009 21' Kedron ATV-2 instead. Although the weights are similar, it is smaller and will be easier to manoeuvre, as well as being more robust. We will be taking it on its first trip (with us) to Yeppoon in a couple of weeks. Look forward to seeing how it goes.

All going well, we plan to leave here at home in SA on Friday, for our annual migration to warmer places. It has been a much later start this year as we had family related stuff to do here. Our plan is to head North to Alice Springs and then West across the Great Central Road to WA. Our itinerary takes us North up the Oodnadatta Track after a few days around Clare then the Flinders Ranges. We should head off from Yulara on the GCR on 27 June. I think we will stay the night at Curtin Springs before hand. The van's wheel bearings have been greased, the floors washed, bed made, and some food already in the van. I can't wait to enjoy warmer weather! Will we see any of you out and about on these roads?

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. After eating their dinner around the campfire they retire to the tent to go to sleep. A few hours later Sherlock wakes up. “Watson, are you awake?” He asks. “Yes, sir. What is it?” Answers Watson. “Look up and tell me what you see.” Asks Holmes. “I see billions of stars,” says Watson. “And what does that tell you Watson,” asks Holmes. “Well,” says Dr Watson, “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.” “Why? – What does it tell you, Holmes?” Holmes is quiet for a moment then says: “It tells me that someone has stolen our tent.”

New owner of cp5 used compact.

We loved touring Tassie with our van. I posted trip reports here, (in 2018) so you might do a search in case you find it interesting or helpful. chris Stage 4 June 2018 Tasmania.pdfStage 3 May 2018 Tasmania.pdfStage 2 April to 2018 Tasmania.pdfStage 1 March to April 2018 Tasmania.pdf

It was late in the day when a fully loaded minivan pulled into the only remaining campsite. As soon as it stopped, the doors flew open and four children jumped out. They began to unload gear and worked feverishly to set up the tent. Next, the boys ran to gather firewood while the girls and their mother set up the camp kitchen area. The camper in the space next to them marveled to the children’s father, “I’ve never seen such teamwork nor a camp that was ready so quickly. I’m impressed.” The father turned to the neighbor and nodded sagely. “I have a system,” he said. “No one goes to the bathroom before the camp is set up.”

The only cow in a small town in Poland stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found that they could buy a cow from Moscow for 2,000 rubles, or one from Minsk for 1,000 rubles. Being frugal, they bought the cow from Minsk. The cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all the time, and the people were amazed and very happy. They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and produce more cows like it. Then they would never have to worry about the milk supply again. They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow. However, whenever the bull came close to the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his quest. The people were very upset and decided to ask their wise rabbi, what to do. They told the rabbi what was happening. “Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. An approach from the side and she just walks away to the other side.” The rabbi thought about this for a minute and asked, “Did you buy this cow from Minsk?” The people were dumbfounded, since they had never mentioned where they had gotten the cow. “You are truly a wise rabbi,” they said. “How did you know we got the cow from Minsk?” The rabbi answered sadly, “My wife is from Minsk.

Another instalment. In this trip report we get closer to SA, and catch up with fellow Kedronners. Stage 2 July 2022 Pine Creek to Norley.pdf

Good Afternoon folks, it’s Friday Funny time again. A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says: 'I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 88th birthday and it's today.' The bartender says 'Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me.' As the woman finishes her drink the woman to her right says 'I would like to buy you a drink, too.' The old woman says 'Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water.' 'Coming up' says the bartender As she finishes that drink, The man to her left says 'I would like to buy you one, too.' The old woman says 'Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water.' 'Coming right up' the bartender says. As he gives her the drink, he says 'Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?' The old woman replies ’Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor... holding your water, however, is a whole other issue.'

Must be true........ A new report shows that being overweight is not as harmful as is commonly believed, and actually confers some surprising health benefits. Being 3 to 6 Kg overweight could protect people from ailments ranging from Tuberculosis to Alzheimer's disease, research indicates. Those carrying 7 to 12 Kg extra are better able to recover from adverse conditions such as emphysema, pneumonia, and various injuries and infections, states the report. 12 to 18 Kg of flab could help fend off breast, kidney, pancreatic, prostrate, and colon cancer. In general, the report concludes, overweight people are happier, more successful in business, smarter and friendlier. The study was funded by a research grant from: McDonalds, Burger King, Pizza Hut, KFC, Burgerman, Dominos, M&M, Cadbury and Nestle Chocolates.

HOW TO START A FIGHT One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift... The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!" And that's how the fight started... ________________________________ My wife and I were watching 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?' 'No,' she answered. I then said, 'Is that your final answer?' She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, ‘Yes', So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend." And that's when the fight started... _______________________________ My wife and I were sitting at a table at her school reunion and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table. I asked her, "Do you know him?" "Yes", she sighed, "He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since." "My goodness!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?" And then the fight started... ________________________________ When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer... always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway." The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp. ______________________________ My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, "What's on TV?" I said, "Dust." And then the fight started... ________________________________ Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back; now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible." My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?" And that's how the fight started.... _______________________________ My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds. I bought her a bathroom scale. And then the fight started... ______________________________ After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too.' And then the fight started.. ________________________________ My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' I replied, "Your eyesight's darn near perfect." And then the fight started... ________________________________ I rear-ended a car this morning… the start of a REALLY bad day! The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!! He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!' So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?' That's how the fight started.

Greetings all, trusting this finds you well & happy (& dry if your in SE QLD) Last June Annie & I were travelling on the Plenty Hwy towards Alice Springs, very looooong story cut short we had a transmission failure with the 'tug' (GMC Sierra) we were towed into Alice and spent the next ten weeks there trying to get the problem sorted, (side story even loooonger) now back home (Maryborough) still having problems, but then that's another story. On removal of the transmission in Alice it was established that the failure of the transmission was caused by impact damage to a wiring harness under the vehicle being impacted by a stick or stone resulting in the wiring shorting out destroying the Transmission Control Module (TCM) and in turn locking the transmission in at least two gears. Being 'accidental damage' as opposed to a breakdown I was able to submit an insurance claim for the cost of repairs. I'm not going to name the (major player) insurance company or the repairer (as it it is irrelevant to this post). My initial dealings & enquiries with the insurer, were cordial, professional & reasonably stress free, but as the repair bills & wait times were ever increasing my stress levels started to rise. Although being very comfortable in Alice (such a beautiful town with so much to see & do) being 'so far' from home....Annie informs me I wasn't the easiest person to live with! A lot of free time was spent 'touring' Alice. On one of my tours, I happened to see a vehicle with sign writing on it, blazed down the side of it 'Solve My Claim'. Returning to the caravan I googled this company, & their website was informative and answered most of my questions, to my surprise they were based in Alice! I sent an email, outlining my situation to Solve My Claim (SMC). In due course I was contacted by David Keane the principal of SMC. David outlined his companies purpose & structure & how he believed he (SMC) could assist me with the claim process with my insurer. (Please note, at this time I have a good relationship with the insurer & repairer.....but as the $'s being paid out by me are ever increasing my stress levels were rising....wondering how much the insurer would cover & refund me) We decided to engage SMC, from that moment on, all my communications to the insurer were done by SMC. SMC's experience & knowledge immediately dropped my stress levels. To date SMC have been able to recover ALL of my outgoings relating to the repair of the transmission, plus an additional amount ($1000) SMC found in the small print of the insurers 'small print' Yes....we did have to pay Solve My Claim for their services, .....but we believe, the amount we paid for their professional services was far less than the extras SMC were able to secure for us in the claims process....with NO STRESS! Solve my Claim can assist with ANY insurance claim, house, vehicle, caravan etc. Have a look at their website https://solvemyclaim.com.au/ ...there only a phone call or email away! Annie & I would have NO hesitation in engaging their services again! Usual disclaimer...... Annie & I have NO affiliation with SMC other than being very satisfied clients! Travel safe Annie & Tony

Ain’t it the truth.. An Obituary printed in the London Times.....Absolutely Dead Brilliant!! Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: - Knowing when to come in out of the rain; - Why the early bird gets the worm; - Life isn't always fair; - And maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death, -by his parents, Truth and Trust, -by his wife, Discretion, -by his daughter, Responsibility, -and by his son, Reason. He is survived by his 5 stepchildren; - I Know My Rights - I Want It Now - Someone Else Is To Blame - I'm A Victim - Pay me for Doing Nothing Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing

Hi Matt and Tony 300s are being delivered albeit slowly, and we hope to get ours - a GLX - sometime this decade! But possibly February. I have had a short drive of a VX and a GXL but only a few ks. The higher the spec in the 300s you go the less load capacity, which is why, apart from $$$$s, we chose the GXL, although the GX beats it by about 85kg. Matt, Glen from Kedron made a U Tube or suchlike of a test he was involved in courtesy of Toyota. I rang and spoke to Glen and he was very impressed with the way it performed with one of their vans hooked up to it. Google Toyota Landcruiser 300 goes outback caravanning. Kedron now has a 300. Dealers are forbidden to discount however, but there could be a few exceptions. A word of warning: if you are to have any accessories fitted, do that post sale because if included in the purchase price you pay luxury tax on them. Cheers, Barry

If you're thinking about getting one of those pre-paid cremation plans, Don't go to an English company, they'll lose the ashes. Happy New Year to all……travel safe!

A LITTLE-KNOWN FACT IS THAT WHILE JEWS MAKE UP ABOUT 2% OF THE U.S. POPULATION, THERE WAS A TIME WHEN THEY MADE UP 50% OF THE FAMOUS COMEDIANS. Danny Kaye, Buddy Hackett, Sid Caesar, Groucho Marx, Woody Allen, George Burns, Allan Sherman, Jerry Lewis, Mel Brooks, Phil Silvers, Jack Benny, Mansel Rubenstein and so many others. There was not one single swear word in their comedy. JUST A FEW EXAMPLES: * I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. * I've been in love with the same woman for 49 years! If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me! * What are three words a woman never wants to hear when she's making love? "Honey, I'm home!" * Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did. * We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. * My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time I stayed in the bathroom and cried. * My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. * She was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off. * The Doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so the doctor gave him another six months. * The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your cheque came back." Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!". * Doctor: "You'll live to be 60!" Patient: "I am 60!" Doctor: "See! What did I tell you?" * Patient: "I have a ringing in my ears." Doctor: "Don't answer it!" * A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says, "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started." * Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it. * The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish women like Chinese food so much. The study revealed that this is due to the fact that Won Ton spelled backward is Not Now. *There is a big controversy on the Jewish view of when life begins. In Jewish tradition, the foetus is not considered viable until it graduates from medical school. Q: Why don't Jewish mothers drink? A: Alcohol interferes with their suffering. Q: Why do Jewish mothers make great parole officers? A: They never let anyone finish a sentence! A man called his mother in Florida, "Mom, how are you?" "Not too good," said the mother. "I've been very weak. "The son said, "Why are you so weak?" She said, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days. "The son said, "That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten in 38 days?" The mother answered, "Because I didn't want my mouth to be filled with food if you should call." A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he has a part in the play. She asks, "What part is it?" The boy says, "I play the part of the Jewish husband." The mother scowls and says, "Go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part." Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb? A: (Sigh) "Don't bother. I'll sit in the dark. I don't want to be a nuisance to anybody." Did you hear about the bum who walked up to a Jewish mother on the street and said, "Lady, I haven't eaten in three days." "Force yourself," she replied. Q: What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish mother? A: Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go. Q: Why are Jewish men circumcised? A: Because Jewish women don't like anything that isn't 20% off.

An old Irish farmer's dog goes missing and he's inconsolable. His wife says: “Why don't you put an ad in the paper?” The farmer does. Two weeks later the dog is still missing. "What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks. "Here boy" he replies. ______________________________ __

Hi members, At the 2020 AGM a committee was formed to look into our uniforms. At the 2021 AGM it was decided to go with iron on badges. Sample and info attached. I will be sending an email out soon to all members to request if they want one each free and additional at $5. To save wearing out the internet please email the kedronownersgroup@gmail.com and advise if you require one/two to be mailed out and deposit $5 each into our bank account with name and memb no. for the additional ones. Any queries please contact me Bill Fawkes

Every morning, the CEO of a large bank in Manhattan walks to the corner for a shoeshine. He sits in an armchair, examines the Wall Street Journal and the shoe shiner buffs his shoes to a mirror shine. One morning the shoe shiner asks the CEO: "What do you think about the situation in the stock market? ” The man answered arrogantly, "Why are you so interested in that topic? ” The shoe guy replies, "I have millions in your bank," he says, "and I'm considering investing some of the money in the capital market. ” "What's your name? " asked the executive. John H. Smith was the reply. The CEO arrives at the bank and asked the Manager of the Customer Department; Do we have a client named John H. Smith? "Certainly, answers the Customer Service Manager, "he is a high net worth customer with 12.6 million dollars in his account. ” The executive comes out, approaches the shoe shiner, and says, "Mr. Smith, I would like to invite you next Monday to be the guest of honour at our board meeting and tell us the story of your life. I am sure we could learn something from your life's experience. ” At the board meeting, the CEO introduces him to the board members. " We all know Mr. Smith, from the corner shoeshine stand, but Mr. Smith is also an esteemed customer. I invited him here to tell us the story of his life. I am sure we can learn from him.” Mr. Smith began his story. "I came to this country fifty years ago as a young immigrant from Europe with an unpronounceable name. I got off the ship without a penny. The first thing I did was change my name to Smith. I was hungry and exhausted. I started wandering around looking for a job but to no avail. Fortunately, I found a coin on the sidewalk. I bought an apple. I had two options, eat the apple and quench my hunger or start a business. I sold the apple for 25 cents and bought two apples with the money. I also sold them and continued in business. When I started accumulating a few dollars, I was able to buy a set of used brushes and shoe polish and started polishing shoes. I didn't spend a penny on entertainment or clothing, I just bought bread and some cheese to survive. I saved penny by penny and after a while, I bought a new set of shoe brushes and polishes in different shades and expanded my clientele.I lived like a monk and saved penny by penny. After a while, I was able to buy an armchair so my clients could sit comfortably while I shined their shoes, and that brought me more clients. I did not spend a penny on the joys of life. I kept saving every cent. A few years ago, when the previous shoe shiner on the corner decided to retire, I had already saved enough money to buy his shoeshine location at this great place. Finally, 6 months ago, my sister, who was a hooker in Chicago, passed away and left me 12.6 million dollars."

We have had two Kedron Vans both have had two Sirocco fans fitted. I think they are fantastic until they need cleaning. Not sure of what happened to the directions on how to clean them. With the help of Google "Cleaning Sirocco Fans" I found a couple You Tube videos. Suddenly the task of cleaning the fans became a pleasure. If you hate cleaning the fans, do yourself a favour and do what I did and watch the demo. I will no longer have to look at a dirty fan.

It’ll be fine. We had a 2009 ATV2 for 9 years before upgrading to the new AT5. Went everywhere including Gibb River Road, Tanami Track etc. Very happy with it and the great service we received from the Gall Boys 👌

Hi Brian Try Andrew at Award Canvas and Vinyl, 21 High St, Kippa-Ring 0417 700 637. We have had Andrew make various things for 3 vans over many years and regard his quality of work highly. I was going to say "Barry sent me" but he may charge you double!! Not likely. Highly recommended. His last and very recent product was for our XC3, a protective cover for the awning when it is rolled up, for when stored outside. Regards, Barry

Click on the link for the origin of Siri’s ‘voice’ Siri.mp4

"OLD" IS WHEN - Your friends compliment you on your leather gloves , but you are not wearing any. "OLD" IS WHEN - You don't care where your spouse goes , just as long as you don't have to go along "OLD" IS WHEN - You are cautioned to slow down buy your doctor instead of the police. "OLD " IS WHEN - "Getting a little action " means you don't need to take any fibre today. "OLD" IS WHEN - Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face. "OLD" IS WHEN - "Getting lucky" means finding you car in the parking lot "OLD" IS WHEN - An "all-nighter' means not getting up to pee .

Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a check-up, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.. Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks. 'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?' 'Sure.' 'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks. 'No, I can remember it.' 'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?' He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.' 'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks. Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!' Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment. 'Where's my toast?'

A Scottish lady walked into a Police Station and the desk Sergeant said "Can I help you?" "Yes" she said, "I'd like to report a case of sexual assault". "Where did it happen?" the Sergeant asked. "In the park just down the road" she replied. "Can you describe what happened?" "Yes, I was walking along the footpath in the park near the trees when a man jumped out of the bushes and dragged me in there, removed my underwear then he dropped his pants to his knees and had his way with me". "Could you give me a description of him?” "Yes, he was wearing white shoes, long white trousers, a white shirt and he had these two big long pads from his feet up to and over his knees, one on each leg". "Sounds to me like he was a cricketer, most probably a batsman", said the Sergeant. "Yes", said the lady, "He was an English Cricketer". "That's very observant", said the Sergeant, "You worked that out from his accent?" "No", she replied. "I worked it out because he wasn't in for very long"

An Englishman's View of Australia! The following has been written by the late Douglas Adams of "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" fame. "Australia is a very confusing place, taking up a large amount of the bottom half of the planet. It is recognizable from orbit because of many unusual features, including what at first looks like an enormous bite taken out of its southern edge; a wall of sheer cliffs which plunge into the girting sea. Geologists assure us that this is simply an accident of geomorphology, but they still call it the "Great Australian Bight", proving that not only are they covering up a more frightening theory but they can't spell either. The first of the confusing things about Australia is the status of the place. Where other landmasses and sovereign lands are classified as continent, island or country, Australia is considered all three. Typically, it is unique in this. The second confusing thing about Australia is the animals. They can be divided into three categories: Poisonous, Odd, and Sheep. It is true that of the 10 most poisonous arachnids on the planet, Australia has 9 of them. Actually, it would be more accurate to say that of the 9 most poisonous arachnids, Australia has all of them. Any visitors should be careful to check inside boots (before putting them on), under toilet seats (before sitting down) and generally everywhere else. A stick is very useful for this task. The last confusing thing about Australia is the inhabitants. A short history: Sometime around 40,000 years ago some people arrived in boats from the north. They ate all the available food, and a lot of them died. The ones who survived learned respect for the balance of nature, man's proper place in the scheme of things, and spiders. They settled in and spent a lot of the intervening time making up strange stories. They also discovered a stick that kept coming back. Then, around 200 years ago, Europeans arrived in boats from the north. More accurately, European convicts were sent, with a few deranged people in charge. They tried to plant their crops in autumn (failing to take account of the reversal of the seasons), ate all their food, and a lot of them died. About then the sheep arrived, and have been treasured ever since. It is interesting to note here that the Europeans always consider themselves vastly superior to any other race they encounter, since they can lie, cheat, steal and litigate (marks of a civilized culture they say), whereas all the Aboriginals can do is happily survive being left in the middle of a vast red-hot desert - equipped with a stick. Eventually, the new lot of people stopped being Europeans on 'extended holiday' and became Australians. The changes are subtle, but deep, caused by the mind-stretching expanses of nothingness and eerie quiet, where a person can sit perfectly still and look deep inside themselves to the core of their essence, their reasons for being, and the necessity of checking inside their boots every morning for fatal surprises. They also picked up the most finely tuned sense of irony in the world, and the Aboriginal gift for making up stories. Be warned. There is also the matter of the beaches. Australian beaches are simply the nicest and best in the world, although anyone actually venturing into the sea will have to contend with sharks, stinging jellyfish, stone-fish (a fish which sits on the bottom of the sea, pretends to be a rock and has venomous barbs sticking out of its back that will kill just from the pain) and surf-boarders. However, watching a beach sunset is worth the risk. As a result of all this hardship, dirt, thirst and wombats, you would expect Australians to be a sour lot. Instead, they are genial, jolly, cheerful and always willing to share a kind word with a stranger. Faced with insurmountable odds and impossible problems, they smile disarmingly and look for a stick. Major engineering feats have been performed with sheets of corrugated iron, string and mud. Alone of all the races on earth, they seem to be free from the 'Grass is greener on the other side of the fence' syndrome, and roundly proclaim that Australia is, in fact, the other side of that fence. They call the land "Oz" or "Godzone" (a verbal contraction of "God's Own Country"). The irritating thing about this is... they may be right. TIPS TO SURVIVING AUSTRALIA Don't ever put your hand down a hole for any reason - WHATSOEVER. The beer is stronger than you think, regardless of how strong you think it is. Always carry a stick. Air-conditioning is imperative. Do not attempt to use Australian slang unless you are a trained linguist and extremely good in a fist fight. Wear thick socks. Take good maps. Stopping to ask directions only works when there are people nearby If you leave the urban areas, carry several litres of water with you at all times, or you will die. And don't forget a stick. Even in the most embellished stories told by Australians, there is always a core of truth that it is unwise to ignore. HOW TO IDENTIFY AUSTRALIANS They pronounce Melbourne as "Mel-bin". They think it makes perfect sense to decorate highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep. They think "Woolloomooloo" is a perfectly reasonable name for a place, that "Wagga Wagga" can be abbreviated to "Wagga", but "Woy Woy" can't be called "Woy". Their hamburgers will contain beetroot. Apparently it's a must-have. How else do you get a stain on your shirt? They don't think it's summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle. They believe that all train timetables are works of fiction. And they all carry a stick.