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A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. "I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum.". The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech. "And what if I swallow it?". "No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does." -------------------------------------------------------------- WIFE: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburettor." HUSBAND: "Water in the carburettor? That's ridiculous." WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburettor." HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburettor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?" WIFE: "In the pool." --------------------------------------------------------------------- My neighbor found out her dog could hardly hear so she took it to the veterinarian. He found the problem was hair in it's ears and cleaned both ears and the dog could hear fine. The vet told the lady if she wanted to keep this from reoccurring she should go to the store and get some 'Nair' hair remover and rub in it's ears once a month. The lady goes to the drug store and gets some 'Nair' hair remover. At the register the druggist tells her "If you're going to use this under your arms don't use deodorant for a few days." The lady says "I'm not using it under my arms." The druggist says "If you're using it on your legs don't shave for a couple of days." The lady says "I'm not using it on my legs either, and if you must know I'm using it on my schnauzer." The druggist says "Stay off your bicycle for a week".