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  1. Romantic Australians! You can't get more romantic than this! Aussie stockman and his wife had just got married and found a quiet hotel for their wedding night. The man approached the front desk and asked for a room. He said, 'We're on our honeymoon and we need a nice room, with a good strong bed." The clerk winked, ‘Do you want the 'Bridal'?' The drover reflected on this for a moment and then replied, "Nah, I reckon not. I'll just hold onto her ears until she gets used to it."
    5 points
  2. Hi Matt and Tony 300s are being delivered albeit slowly, and we hope to get ours - a GLX - sometime this decade! But possibly February. I have had a short drive of a VX and a GXL but only a few ks. The higher the spec in the 300s you go the less load capacity, which is why, apart from $$$$s, we chose the GXL, although the GX beats it by about 85kg. Matt, Glen from Kedron made a U Tube or suchlike of a test he was involved in courtesy of Toyota. I rang and spoke to Glen and he was very impressed with the way it performed with one of their vans hooked up to it. Google Toyota Landcruiser 300 goes outback caravanning. Kedron now has a 300. Dealers are forbidden to discount however, but there could be a few exceptions. A word of warning: if you are to have any accessories fitted, do that post sale because if included in the purchase price you pay luxury tax on them. Cheers, Barry
    4 points
  3. If you're thinking about getting one of those pre-paid cremation plans, Don't go to an English company, they'll lose the ashes. Happy New Year to all……travel safe!
    4 points
  4. A LITTLE-KNOWN FACT IS THAT WHILE JEWS MAKE UP ABOUT 2% OF THE U.S. POPULATION, THERE WAS A TIME WHEN THEY MADE UP 50% OF THE FAMOUS COMEDIANS. Danny Kaye, Buddy Hackett, Sid Caesar, Groucho Marx, Woody Allen, George Burns, Allan Sherman, Jerry Lewis, Mel Brooks, Phil Silvers, Jack Benny, Mansel Rubenstein and so many others. There was not one single swear word in their comedy. JUST A FEW EXAMPLES: * I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. * I've been in love with the same woman for 49 years! If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me! * What are three words a woman never wants to hear when she's making love? "Honey, I'm home!" * Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did. * We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. * My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time I stayed in the bathroom and cried. * My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. * She was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off. * The Doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so the doctor gave him another six months. * The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your cheque came back." Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!". * Doctor: "You'll live to be 60!" Patient: "I am 60!" Doctor: "See! What did I tell you?" * Patient: "I have a ringing in my ears." Doctor: "Don't answer it!" * A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says, "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started." * Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it. * The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish women like Chinese food so much. The study revealed that this is due to the fact that Won Ton spelled backward is Not Now. *There is a big controversy on the Jewish view of when life begins. In Jewish tradition, the foetus is not considered viable until it graduates from medical school. Q: Why don't Jewish mothers drink? A: Alcohol interferes with their suffering. Q: Why do Jewish mothers make great parole officers? A: They never let anyone finish a sentence! A man called his mother in Florida, "Mom, how are you?" "Not too good," said the mother. "I've been very weak. "The son said, "Why are you so weak?" She said, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days. "The son said, "That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten in 38 days?" The mother answered, "Because I didn't want my mouth to be filled with food if you should call." A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he has a part in the play. She asks, "What part is it?" The boy says, "I play the part of the Jewish husband." The mother scowls and says, "Go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part." Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb? A: (Sigh) "Don't bother. I'll sit in the dark. I don't want to be a nuisance to anybody." Did you hear about the bum who walked up to a Jewish mother on the street and said, "Lady, I haven't eaten in three days." "Force yourself," she replied. Q: What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish mother? A: Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go. Q: Why are Jewish men circumcised? A: Because Jewish women don't like anything that isn't 20% off.
    4 points
  5. Woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone." "No more headaches?" The husband asks, "What happened?" His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat 'I do not have a headache; I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache.' It worked. The headaches are all gone." His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?" The husband agrees to try it. Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before. His wife says, "Damn! That was wonderful!" The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back." He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time. The wife sits up and her head is spinning. Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." With that, he goes back in the bathroom. This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying, She's not my wife. She's not my wife. She's not my wife. His funeral service will be held on Saturday.
    2 points
  6. Hi Neil. We have our 2012 ATV and 2017 Landcruiser Sahara insured through Ken Tame and Associates. Have been with them about 12 years. They will do ‘agreed’ value as opposed to ‘market’ value. You have to be a member of the Campervan and Motorhome Club of Australia (CMCA) in order to insure through Ken Tame and Associates. We’ve found them very easy to deal with. We’ve also heard good things about Caravan Insurance Ltd (CIL). As Sandra said, it’s best to shop around. Cheers from Pete.
    2 points
  7. I am not sure I like being reminded about being old ……. Lovemaking Tips For Seniors 1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed. 2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle. 3. Set the mood with lighting.(Turn them ALL OFF!) 4. Make sure you put 000 on your speed dial before you begin. 5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember. 6. Use extra polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed. 7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act. 8. Make all the noise you want. The neighbors are deaf, too. 9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!! 10. Don't even think about trying it twice. 'OLD' IS WHEN... Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!' 'OLD' IS WHEN... Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot. 'OLD' IS WHEN... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face. 'OLD' IS WHEN... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police. 'OLD' IS WHEN... 'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take a laxative today. 'OLD' IS WHEN.... 'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot. 'OLD' IS WHEN... An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom. 'OLD' IS WHEN.... You're not sure if these are facts or jokes. (I sent this in large type so you can read it)
    2 points
  8. Hi Matt, The only reviews you will get at the moment are from motoring journalists, as the vehicle (300series) won’t be available for public sale until possibly late this year…..any reports you read at the moment will be possibly biased toward Toyota……not doubting it will be a very capable performer!
    2 points
  9. An Englishman's View of Australia! The following has been written by the late Douglas Adams of "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" fame. "Australia is a very confusing place, taking up a large amount of the bottom half of the planet. It is recognizable from orbit because of many unusual features, including what at first looks like an enormous bite taken out of its southern edge; a wall of sheer cliffs which plunge into the girting sea. Geologists assure us that this is simply an accident of geomorphology, but they still call it the "Great Australian Bight", proving that not only are they covering up a more frightening theory but they can't spell either. The first of the confusing things about Australia is the status of the place. Where other landmasses and sovereign lands are classified as continent, island or country, Australia is considered all three. Typically, it is unique in this. The second confusing thing about Australia is the animals. They can be divided into three categories: Poisonous, Odd, and Sheep. It is true that of the 10 most poisonous arachnids on the planet, Australia has 9 of them. Actually, it would be more accurate to say that of the 9 most poisonous arachnids, Australia has all of them. Any visitors should be careful to check inside boots (before putting them on), under toilet seats (before sitting down) and generally everywhere else. A stick is very useful for this task. The last confusing thing about Australia is the inhabitants. A short history: Sometime around 40,000 years ago some people arrived in boats from the north. They ate all the available food, and a lot of them died. The ones who survived learned respect for the balance of nature, man's proper place in the scheme of things, and spiders. They settled in and spent a lot of the intervening time making up strange stories. They also discovered a stick that kept coming back. Then, around 200 years ago, Europeans arrived in boats from the north. More accurately, European convicts were sent, with a few deranged people in charge. They tried to plant their crops in autumn (failing to take account of the reversal of the seasons), ate all their food, and a lot of them died. About then the sheep arrived, and have been treasured ever since. It is interesting to note here that the Europeans always consider themselves vastly superior to any other race they encounter, since they can lie, cheat, steal and litigate (marks of a civilized culture they say), whereas all the Aboriginals can do is happily survive being left in the middle of a vast red-hot desert - equipped with a stick. Eventually, the new lot of people stopped being Europeans on 'extended holiday' and became Australians. The changes are subtle, but deep, caused by the mind-stretching expanses of nothingness and eerie quiet, where a person can sit perfectly still and look deep inside themselves to the core of their essence, their reasons for being, and the necessity of checking inside their boots every morning for fatal surprises. They also picked up the most finely tuned sense of irony in the world, and the Aboriginal gift for making up stories. Be warned. There is also the matter of the beaches. Australian beaches are simply the nicest and best in the world, although anyone actually venturing into the sea will have to contend with sharks, stinging jellyfish, stone-fish (a fish which sits on the bottom of the sea, pretends to be a rock and has venomous barbs sticking out of its back that will kill just from the pain) and surf-boarders. However, watching a beach sunset is worth the risk. As a result of all this hardship, dirt, thirst and wombats, you would expect Australians to be a sour lot. Instead, they are genial, jolly, cheerful and always willing to share a kind word with a stranger. Faced with insurmountable odds and impossible problems, they smile disarmingly and look for a stick. Major engineering feats have been performed with sheets of corrugated iron, string and mud. Alone of all the races on earth, they seem to be free from the 'Grass is greener on the other side of the fence' syndrome, and roundly proclaim that Australia is, in fact, the other side of that fence. They call the land "Oz" or "Godzone" (a verbal contraction of "God's Own Country"). The irritating thing about this is... they may be right. TIPS TO SURVIVING AUSTRALIA Don't ever put your hand down a hole for any reason - WHATSOEVER. The beer is stronger than you think, regardless of how strong you think it is. Always carry a stick. Air-conditioning is imperative. Do not attempt to use Australian slang unless you are a trained linguist and extremely good in a fist fight. Wear thick socks. Take good maps. Stopping to ask directions only works when there are people nearby If you leave the urban areas, carry several litres of water with you at all times, or you will die. And don't forget a stick. Even in the most embellished stories told by Australians, there is always a core of truth that it is unwise to ignore. HOW TO IDENTIFY AUSTRALIANS They pronounce Melbourne as "Mel-bin". They think it makes perfect sense to decorate highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep. They think "Woolloomooloo" is a perfectly reasonable name for a place, that "Wagga Wagga" can be abbreviated to "Wagga", but "Woy Woy" can't be called "Woy". Their hamburgers will contain beetroot. Apparently it's a must-have. How else do you get a stain on your shirt? They don't think it's summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle. They believe that all train timetables are works of fiction. And they all carry a stick.
    1 point
  10. Love the ad and ALSO the lamb ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
    1 point
  11. Hello out there. About to take delivery of a used cross country and wondering if anyone has good advice regarding insurance companies. Cheers, neil
    1 point
  12. Depends on what the value of the van. Best to shop around. We have a 2008 XC and both car and van are insured with RACQ. Have made two claims for the van, awning and hail damage and had no problems. Clive and Sandra
    1 point
  13. Thanks. Will check it out. I’ve also joined the 300 series FB page. Some real life experiences starting flow through there.
    1 point
  14. Hi Everyone just wondering if anyone is yet towing with their vans with the new 300 series LandCruiser. I’m looking at getting a GX as like the vinyl. Specs all add up on paper too, so no identifiable weight/load issues for our van with ATM 3080 and typical loaded travel weight around 2900kh and ball weight around 280-300 depending on water and gear, and the huge 785kg vehicle payload (versus the standard 200 series at 610kg). Wondering how the 300 series handles when towing. Have towed with upgraded 200 series and tows beautifully. Have watched all the reviews etc I can find and all present fine but you can’t beat hearing of true customers real experiences. regards matt
    1 point
  15. Hi McAndrew , I have fitted a Black Jack to my van and I'm very happy with it.
    1 point
  16. Could someone tell me what make the electric jockey wheel that Kedron now fix to their vans? Is it the Black Jack electric powered one?
    1 point
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